One day I put a sticky note on the face of my phone. In the hours that followed, every time I picked up the phone, the sticky note reminded me to stop and think about why I had picked up my phone.

Sometimes I picked it up to get information — directions, a fact, check the time, etc.

A few times it was to change the music I was listening to or to check my email.

But most of the time, I saw the sticky note and realized I picked up the phone with no real purpose in mind. It was just habit.

I also tried the experiment with my refrigerator. I put a sticky note inside so that when I opened it, I stopped to think about why I was opening it, whether I was really hungry.

Same thing. I opened it mindlessly most times.

Why bother developing mindfulness?

This is not about removing all the fun stuff from our devices. It’s totally OK to take time to relax with screens. The goal is to do it mindfully. Just as we strive to mindfully eat ice cream, not devour the whole pint.

Given the way apps are designed these days, many people struggle with lost time and attention. Yet screens are a huge part of our lives, and they’re not going anywhere. The goal is to create balance so that screens serve our wants and needs, not the other way around.

When we take a moment to think about why we’re picking up a device, we can make better choices about how we spend our time.

Creating Mindfulness around Screens

It’s difficult to teach our kids to be mindful if we’re not mindful ourselves. So, first is to check on how mindful you are. How regularly do you know your goal for screen time? To help prompt yourself to ask the question, try ideas like these to add some friction to your screen time.

1. Put a sticky note on your phone, like I did.

2. Change your lock screen image to the question.

3. Change your password to slow you down when you open your phone or device.

4. Move apps to a different location on your phone so you break the automatic habit of opening them.

5. Put the remote control for the tv in a drawer or awkward location.

Once you do this, it’s an easy way to start a conversation with your child. Share your experience and then talk about how to do the same kind of experiment with them.

A warning, they may also become the mindful police… if they see you pick up the phone, they’ll ask why you’re doing it. Consider it a signal of success that everyone is becoming more mindful!

Going Deeper

Over time, you may find it helpful to explore questions like these as part of continuing to be more mindful around screen time.

1. How long do I want to spend on screen time right now? How will I make sure I only spend that amount of time?

2. Is this the best time for screen use, or could I be doing something else?

3. Am I using this device to avoid something else I should be doing?

4. How will this screen time benefit me or make me feel better?

5. How often have I picked up my device today?

6. Am I feeling bored or restless, and is that why I'm reaching for my device?

7. How will I feel after spending time on this device – will I feel accomplished or regretful?

Remember, it’s not about cutting out screens completely – it’s about using them in a way that enhances your life. By being mindful, you can make screen time a positive, enriching part of your day instead of something that just happens out of habit.